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Post by RedBeam »

xperceniol_sal wrote: 16 Nov 2024, 20:20 I've been trying so hard to see everything as 'glass 1/2 full' but it ain't easy. I see society becoming even more toxic going forward and I do worry about my safety, I mean, I just keep to myself and I recon I need to keep it that way going forward. I need to somehow survive this.
if you go out and look for it humanity is not as bad now as its made out to be yes there may be a few terrible people out there but there is also alot of people doing great things and being a survivor of 3 years of depression i finally see that what has been said is wrong people are not toxic and Ive seen that first hand Ive met people that im greatfull to of met and seen and done so much more with my life after allowing people back in again sure there are those whos goal is to hurt and destroy but that was just me acting defensively to something that never existed and have realized that everyone is considered equal

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Post by RedBeam »

the world may seem ruined and hopeless but its not all that bad if you just take the time to really look at whats really going on around you everyday the world is beautiful and that can never be forgranted

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Post by xperceniol_sal »

Thank you, my friend and your reply means a lot to me. Yes, you're right, the world is a beautiful place and I need to take the time to appreciate nature and the *few* good people left (there are still some). I need to remember to take life day-by-day and live for today and not worry so much about the future that hasn't happened yet.
"I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better." -Joan Rivers

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Post by Compa »

K4sum1 wrote: 09 Nov 2024, 07:41Well they put those out there for a reason. They're probably going to do it. No Republican has been beneficial to the overall economy for a long while. Deporting immigrants and blanket tariffs are supposedly going to be the first changes and they will cause a lot more inflation.
Explain why unemployment was at a record low under Trump's last run, then?
Explain why Trump gained so many Black and Hispanic voters despite being 'racist' and supposedly wanting to 'send them all back'?

On a note, I'm not sure if I'm just pissing in the wind here with such a seemingly controversial statement - but I sense that there's a rather large distinction between the likes of the cartel members and the like who the Demotwats allowed to just come in and waltz around in Chicago causing havoc not all that long ago, and a rather large chunk of the populace of Texas, for instance.

I'm fairly sure - and you can shoot me down if you have to - that many who are living normal lives as good, honest American citizens would rather die than end up being intertwined with drugs and other shit against their will, or be left on the streets whilst fraudsters and whatnot are playing the authorities like a fool and getting free accomodation and all sorts.

(Such things actually fucking happen in my country because of our neo-Trotskyite government and the fact Islamists still view the UK as a major power, since they're the IE6 of religions and don't keep up with what's relevant: and the government actively aids them into replacing the culture and population with their own to the point we might as well adopt Sharia come 2050... it's really irritating and sad.)
K4sum1 wrote: 09 Nov 2024, 07:41 I'd assume they grew up before Republicans went full Christian, that development with Reagan slowly turned into the Christian Fascism we're threatened with today.
There's a wild amount of difference between whatever they call Christianity in America and what they call Christianity in European cultures.

Also, isn't this just a tad bit suspicious? Where did all those extra voters come from? Image

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Post by xperceniol_sal »

"I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better." -Joan Rivers

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Post by xperceniol_sal »

Well ... been particularly rough today and I've been struggling with addiction again on my back. Just with everything going on, its so hard to stay sane.

People are mean - all I can say. I don't understand how people can be so cruel and I'm glad I don't get it. I always thought love would always win out but I was wrong and 52 years has taught me quiet well that in this life the only one you can count on is yourself. When the going gets rough - people get going. Trust nobody; period!

I think I might just watch TV and take my night meds and turn in early. I was hoping this thread would stay positive but I guess I was mistaken and if it gets too bad, I'll just show myself the door. We'll see, I guess and tomorrows another days but I must make sure I'm in the right frame of mind to visit the forum.
"I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better." -Joan Rivers

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Post by RedBeam »

xperceniol_sal wrote: 18 Nov 2024, 01:20 Well ... been particularly rough today and I've been struggling with addiction again on my back. Just with everything going on, its so hard to stay sane.

People are mean - all I can say. I don't understand how people can be so cruel and I'm glad I don't get it. I always thought love would always win out but I was wrong and 52 years has taught me quiet well that in this life the only one you can count on is yourself. When the going gets rough - people get going. Trust nobody; period!

I think I might just watch TV and take my night meds and turn in early. I was hoping this thread would stay positive but I guess I was mistaken and if it gets too bad, I'll just show myself the door. We'll see, I guess and tomorrows another days but I must make sure I'm in the right frame of mind to visit the forum.
just remember what i told you a few posts ago there is good people out there still and even if it's hard to do people are not evil and deserve a 2nd chance to do what's good and right

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Post by K4sum1 »

xperceniol_sal wrote: 10 Nov 2024, 22:54 Gonna be dealing with rain for the remainder of the day. Been dealing with brain fog and my Depersonalization-derealization disorder is kicking my butt as of late. Might have dinner and see about finding something to watch. Just feel pretty empty inside.

Whilst waiting for dinner to arrive I'm playing a fun race car game.

Enjoy!

https://www.sonsaur.com/racing-cars/

I hope everybody reading is doing better than I am today.

Be back later.

I'm back:
Just feeling pretty hopeless today and sometimes I feel like life is chewing me up and spiting me out. I'm worn out by this life I did not want or ask for. Its all too much and I see others (rarely when I go out) and I feel too envious and it eats me up that I'm flawed and life is happening around me without my control. Also its getting even harder and harder to find good games online now for XP and I rely on distractions to get through the rough spots. My family is a mess and I'm glad I'm removed as my family treats me like I'm retarded. Its sucks! My computers are the air I breathe and my only outlet to the outside world, but I have very serious trust issues and I don't allow people to get very close anymore ... even online. I don't trust instant messaging now due in large part to an incident from 2014 where my safety became compromised. I don't trust email. I can't use discord because I don't have a cell phone anymore. I'm living a pirates life and a humble existence. I see society getting even more toxic over the next 4 years and I worry; not about the isolation because I'm happy with my own company, but rather that I'll close off myself and disassociate one day for good and I won't regain my independence. I don't want to go back to the group home if I can help it and this living facility is good for me. I don't need people. People drain you of your energy and I"m already drained of all energy nowadays. Living here has its drawbacks and sure I'm one of the highest functioning guys here but even sometimes I don't feel safe because so many people have turned conservative and I'm a liberal. I fit in like a square peg in a round hole in this life. I've lost all passion for life and I'm just getting older and older and existing.

I'm sorry to be so depressing but I'm just going through a rough patch is all and I"ll manage.
You might be interested in native or non-browser games. I'd recommend a few, but I'm not sure what you're interested in, and my mind is turning a bit of a blank here.

I'm also not entirely sure what to reply with for the second part and the posts I don't quote. I hope things get better, but I'm not sure when that will be.
I don't know what I'm doing hit album by Brad Sucks

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Post by RedBeam »

xperceniol_sal wrote: 18 Nov 2024, 01:20 Well ... been particularly rough today and I've been struggling with addiction again on my back. Just with everything going on, its so hard to stay sane.

People are mean - all I can say. I don't understand how people can be so cruel and I'm glad I don't get it. I always thought love would always win out but I was wrong and 52 years has taught me quiet well that in this life the only one you can count on is yourself. When the going gets rough - people get going. Trust nobody; period!

I think I might just watch TV and take my night meds and turn in early. I was hoping this thread would stay positive but I guess I was mistaken and if it gets too bad, I'll just show myself the door. We'll see, I guess and tomorrows another days but I must make sure I'm in the right frame of mind to visit the forum.

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Post by RedBeam »

xperceniol_sal wrote: 18 Nov 2024, 01:20 Well ... been particularly rough today and I've been struggling with addiction again on my back. Just with everything going on, its so hard to stay sane.

People are mean - all I can say. I don't understand how people can be so cruel and I'm glad I don't get it. I always thought love would always win out but I was wrong and 52 years has taught me quiet well that in this life the only one you can count on is yourself. When the going gets rough - people get going. Trust nobody; period!

I think I might just watch TV and take my night meds and turn in early. I was hoping this thread would stay positive but I guess I was mistaken and if it gets too bad, I'll just show myself the door. We'll see, I guess and tomorrows another days but I must make sure I'm in the right frame of mind to visit the forum.
@Xperceniol_Sal.. as someone that has recovered from deep depression i can promise you that you will defeat it your a strong person and i beleave you can do it :)

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Post by RedBeam »

xperceniol_sal wrote: 06 Nov 2024, 23:03 Hi @K4sum1 ... I'm back, but I don't know how much posting I'll be doing (largely) due to the fact that I've been struggling as of late; but I'll try to post each day ... oh and BTW I do enjoy Lun3r on XP. I left you some postings over at the XP Forums so I'm hoping you've just not been able to check the forum and I hope you aren't angry with me. I hope we are still friends along with @SatoshiHikari and @Mina ... Its truly a privilege to know you 3. I can no longer get into msfn after the new log in policy; but its ok because my time was up over there anyway ... so I'll stay here and the XP Forums.

Take good care everyone and I hope this finds everybody well. Just keep going forward regardless of the obstacles.

Salvatore
of course we will always be friends and it does not matter who you are as a person i will always treat everyone fairly and i don't dislike you for being a liberal

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Post by K4sum1 »

Compa wrote: 17 Nov 2024, 07:26 Explain why unemployment was at a record low under Trump's last run, then?
He inherited Obama's economy. Four years is pretty short, not long enough to see a lot of changes take effect. However it's a lot of time to either fix or break and it will be felt for many years after.
Compa wrote: 17 Nov 2024, 07:26 Explain why Trump gained so many Black and Hispanic voters despite being 'racist' and supposedly wanting to 'send them all back'?
I don't think he gained much support in those groups. The percentages may have shifted, however the Republican vote is also quite close to 2020. News media could then just say he "gained support" from xyz group and show a percentage even if the number of people that supported him didn't change much.
Compa wrote: 17 Nov 2024, 07:26 Also, isn't this just a tad bit suspicious? Where did all those extra voters come from? Image
Both have a large uptick in voters? Also 2020 is the year of Covid, voting became much easier due to changes to work around Covid. For example, mail in voting. More people had more opportunities to vote, and economical challenges related to Covid boosted this as well.

What is weird is that 2024 has significantly less Democrat voters. The first time they lost the popular vote since 2004, and 1988 before that. If anything is a tad bit suspicious, it should be this. If anything Republicans would be the ones to do vote manipulation, and this tells me that they did. It would be very easy to "lose" mail in ballots, and that would explain this. The Democrats are too pussy to pursue the win they should've gotten, and the voting populace is too pussy to do a proper correction before it gets too late.

I'm not replying to the open racism and blatantly false bullshit. I should remove it, but I'm lazy. If you keep going at it, I will ban you.
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Post by RedBeam »

K4sum1 wrote: 18 Nov 2024, 08:40
Compa wrote: 17 Nov 2024, 07:26 Explain why unemployment was at a record low under Trump's last run, then?
He inherited Obama's economy. Four years is pretty short, not long enough to see a lot of changes take effect. However it's a lot of time to either fix or break and it will be felt for many years after.
Compa wrote: 17 Nov 2024, 07:26 Explain why Trump gained so many Black and Hispanic voters despite being 'racist' and supposedly wanting to 'send them all back'?
I don't think he gained much support in those groups. The percentages may have shifted, however the Republican vote is also quite close to 2020. News media could then just say he "gained support" from xyz group and show a percentage even if the number of people that supported him didn't change much.
Compa wrote: 17 Nov 2024, 07:26 Also, isn't this just a tad bit suspicious? Where did all those extra voters come from? Image
Both have a large uptick in voters? Also 2020 is the year of Covid, voting became much easier due to changes to work around Covid. For example, mail in voting. More people had more opportunities to vote, and economical challenges related to Covid boosted this as well.

What is weird is that 2024 has significantly less Democrat voters. The first time they lost the popular vote since 2004, and 1988 before that. If anything is a tad bit suspicious, it should be this. If anything Republicans would be the ones to do vote manipulation, and this tells me that they did. It would be very easy to "lose" mail in ballots, and that would explain this. The Democrats are too pussy to pursue the win they should've gotten, and the voting populace is too pussy to do a proper correction before it gets too late.

I'm not replying to the open racism and blatantly false bullshit. I should remove it, but I'm lazy. If you keep going at it, I will ban you.
being a texas conservative i don't really worry about politics unless its undeniable necessary ive even set myself to not be able to vote just because of how controversial it can be sometimes i only choose sides if i think its the right decision
Last edited by RedBeam on 18 Nov 2024, 08:53, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by K4sum1 »

I'm so invested because at best they will cut the programs I depend on, or at worst put me in a camp or kill me, and they just won the presidency, senate, and house. Their stacked supreme court will just allow them to do it too.
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Post by xperceniol_sal »

K4sum1 wrote: 18 Nov 2024, 08:53 I'm so invested because at best they will cut the programs I depend on, or at worst put me in a camp or kill me, and they just won the presidency, senate, and house. Their stacked supreme court will just allow them to do it too.
I feel much the same as you regarding the programs I depend on, as well. I'm likely too old and with health conditions to be put in a camp but they could put pink triangles on my door as they did with Hitler. I do worry, I can not lie but I guess we just roll with the punches until something happens; but I'm also invested.
"I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better." -Joan Rivers

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Post by xperceniol_sal »

RedBeam wrote: 18 Nov 2024, 08:36
xperceniol_sal wrote: 06 Nov 2024, 23:03 Hi @K4sum1 ... I'm back, but I don't know how much posting I'll be doing (largely) due to the fact that I've been struggling as of late; but I'll try to post each day ... oh and BTW I do enjoy Lun3r on XP. I left you some postings over at the XP Forums so I'm hoping you've just not been able to check the forum and I hope you aren't angry with me. I hope we are still friends along with @SatoshiHikari and @Mina ... Its truly a privilege to know you 3. I can no longer get into msfn after the new log in policy; but its ok because my time was up over there anyway ... so I'll stay here and the XP Forums.

Take good care everyone and I hope this finds everybody well. Just keep going forward regardless of the obstacles.

Salvatore
of course we will always be friends and it does not matter who you are as a person i will always treat everyone fairly and i don't dislike you for being a liberal
Thank you for everything you wrote and I'm glad also to have you as a friend.
"I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better." -Joan Rivers

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Post by xperceniol_sal »

RedBeam wrote: 18 Nov 2024, 08:30
xperceniol_sal wrote: 18 Nov 2024, 01:20 Well ... been particularly rough today and I've been struggling with addiction again on my back. Just with everything going on, its so hard to stay sane.

People are mean - all I can say. I don't understand how people can be so cruel and I'm glad I don't get it. I always thought love would always win out but I was wrong and 52 years has taught me quiet well that in this life the only one you can count on is yourself. When the going gets rough - people get going. Trust nobody; period!

I think I might just watch TV and take my night meds and turn in early. I was hoping this thread would stay positive but I guess I was mistaken and if it gets too bad, I'll just show myself the door. We'll see, I guess and tomorrows another days but I must make sure I'm in the right frame of mind to visit the forum.
@Xperceniol_Sal.. as someone that has recovered from deep depression i can promise you that you will defeat it your a strong person and i beleave you can do it :)
If you don't mind me asking, how did you recover from deep depression?
"I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better." -Joan Rivers

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Post by xperceniol_sal »

K4sum1 wrote: 18 Nov 2024, 08:08
xperceniol_sal wrote: 10 Nov 2024, 22:54 Gonna be dealing with rain for the remainder of the day. Been dealing with brain fog and my Depersonalization-derealization disorder is kicking my butt as of late. Might have dinner and see about finding something to watch. Just feel pretty empty inside.

Whilst waiting for dinner to arrive I'm playing a fun race car game.

Enjoy!

https://www.sonsaur.com/racing-cars/

I hope everybody reading is doing better than I am today.

Be back later.

I'm back:
Just feeling pretty hopeless today and sometimes I feel like life is chewing me up and spiting me out. I'm worn out by this life I did not want or ask for. Its all too much and I see others (rarely when I go out) and I feel too envious and it eats me up that I'm flawed and life is happening around me without my control. Also its getting even harder and harder to find good games online now for XP and I rely on distractions to get through the rough spots. My family is a mess and I'm glad I'm removed as my family treats me like I'm retarded. Its sucks! My computers are the air I breathe and my only outlet to the outside world, but I have very serious trust issues and I don't allow people to get very close anymore ... even online. I don't trust instant messaging now due in large part to an incident from 2014 where my safety became compromised. I don't trust email. I can't use discord because I don't have a cell phone anymore. I'm living a pirates life and a humble existence. I see society getting even more toxic over the next 4 years and I worry; not about the isolation because I'm happy with my own company, but rather that I'll close off myself and disassociate one day for good and I won't regain my independence. I don't want to go back to the group home if I can help it and this living facility is good for me. I don't need people. People drain you of your energy and I"m already drained of all energy nowadays. Living here has its drawbacks and sure I'm one of the highest functioning guys here but even sometimes I don't feel safe because so many people have turned conservative and I'm a liberal. I fit in like a square peg in a round hole in this life. I've lost all passion for life and I'm just getting older and older and existing.

I'm sorry to be so depressing but I'm just going through a rough patch is all and I"ll manage.
You might be interested in native or non-browser games. I'd recommend a few, but I'm not sure what you're interested in, and my mind is turning a bit of a blank here.

I'm also not entirely sure what to reply with for the second part and the posts I don't quote. I hope things get better, but I'm not sure when that will be.
Oh, I do also play Jewel Quest on my computer besides browser games but they do get old after a while. Any good suggestions that would work on the 32 bit xp? Thanks in advance and I'm interested in various types of games except I don't know how to play mine craft.

I'm gonna be spending the evening in the house with cachyos linux and it looks promising ... I'll let everyone know my impression after I do a live session. I don't install them anymore and just use live sessions from DVD.
Last edited by xperceniol_sal on 18 Nov 2024, 23:46, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by RedBeam »

xperceniol_sal wrote: 18 Nov 2024, 22:32
RedBeam wrote: 18 Nov 2024, 08:30
xperceniol_sal wrote: 18 Nov 2024, 01:20 Well ... been particularly rough today and I've been struggling with addiction again on my back. Just with everything going on, its so hard to stay sane.

People are mean - all I can say. I don't understand how people can be so cruel and I'm glad I don't get it. I always thought love would always win out but I was wrong and 52 years has taught me quiet well that in this life the only one you can count on is yourself. When the going gets rough - people get going. Trust nobody; period!

I think I might just watch TV and take my night meds and turn in early. I was hoping this thread would stay positive but I guess I was mistaken and if it gets too bad, I'll just show myself the door. We'll see, I guess and tomorrows another days but I must make sure I'm in the right frame of mind to visit the forum.
@Xperceniol_Sal.. as someone that has recovered from deep depression i can promise you that you will defeat it your a strong person and i beleave you can do it :)
If you don't mind me asking, how did you recover from deep depression?
i did my research and looked at articles from different mental health institutes and found alot of valuable information that helped me turn my life around again and have taken fish oil pills as well which help your brain and is a big connection in lessening depression and bad thoughs

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Post by xperceniol_sal »

Oh, thank you, My eye doctor always recommends fish oil and I do have some on hand and I should give them another try because I do desperately want to get off of these narcotics I'm addicted to.
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Post by RedBeam »

with it being the holiday season now i will be taken little breaks every so often throughout the month to really enjoy the season and spend time in life more

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Post by RedBeam »

being a legacy windows fanboy like i was also had its drawbacks as i always assumed i was better just for using windows 7 and considering anyone who used 10/11 as weirdos which was ultimately wrong

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Post by xperceniol_sal »

RedBeam wrote: 18 Nov 2024, 23:55 with it being the holiday season now i will be taken little breaks every so often throughout the month to really enjoy the season and spend time in life more
Breaks are awesome to spend time in real life and with family :)
Last edited by xperceniol_sal on 19 Nov 2024, 00:50, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by xperceniol_sal »

xperceniol_sal wrote: 18 Nov 2024, 23:45I'm gonna be spending the evening in the house with cachyos Linux and it looks promising ... I'll let everyone know my impression after I do a live session. I don't install them anymore and just use live sessions from DVD.
Well my first impression is its pretty (also pretty damn hard to configure, but I did manage) ... very very laggy and slow but my computers are old so maybe that is the cause. It only uses catchyos browser which is a rebranded Firefox. Limited control that I quiet enjoy (I don't like everything preset and blacked out in catchos) when I configure a browser to my liking.

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Overall I was impressed to get a 90% on test my adblocker without any extension but whilst ease of use isn't too bad, I need more control and I would not chose this as a main OS with such little control.

I would skip it actually. Buggy and countless errors that programs won't start up on the 1st try so gonna just give up on this one.
"I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better." -Joan Rivers

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Post by xperceniol_sal »

Whereas on my windows system also with no extension just a ginormous host file I get 100%

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"I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better." -Joan Rivers

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Post by Compa »

If I was installing on such an old device I'd use devuan. No systemd + xfce desktop + debian base. You might want to learn a bit about UNIX and see if your hardware is supported before trying it, though.

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Post by xperceniol_sal »

Compa wrote: 19 Nov 2024, 01:50 If I was installing on such an old device I'd use devuan. No systemd + xfce desktop + debian base. You might want to learn a bit about UNIX and see if your hardware is supported before trying it, though.
Thank you, Compa; I do like xfce and I used Zorin OS for 9 months - I also have worked with debian a little. Yeah, this is a Dell Optiplex 745 and my 2nd computer is a Dell Dimension 3000 so they are quite aged and with factory hardware that is showing its age.
"I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better." -Joan Rivers

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Post by Compa »

xfce follows the traditional UNIX philosophy, 'to the point' and incredibly modular. also the developers basically update it 'whenever they feel like it', which is nice. it's also the first DE I ever used and I still think the best one.

Linux world has really drastically changed even from when I first started in 2015, there's a lot more focus on rolling release and stuff like flatpaks now ...

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Post by K4sum1 »

xperceniol_sal wrote: 18 Nov 2024, 23:45 Oh, I do also play Jewel Quest on my computer besides browser games but they do get old after a while. Any good suggestions that would work on the 32 bit xp? Thanks in advance and I'm interested in various types of games except I don't know how to play mine craft.
I'd think Minecraft is a more basic game, you pretty much mine and craft. Although if you mean like remembering how to craft stuff, I can get that. I always just look up whatever item if I don't know how to craft it. Other than that, I'm not sure where you would get stuck.

I'm more into action games, not sure if you're big into that, but here's what I have installed/archived and should* work with XP in no particular order.
► Show Spoiler
I have these in a list of games that I found notable enough to write down as to get them eventually. I haven't checked this list too carefully for XP compatibility.
► Show Spoiler
I don't know what I'm doing hit album by Brad Sucks

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Post by xperceniol_sal »

Thank you @K4sum1 for your detailed listing of games ... this should keep my busy.

So: I've been messing around with user agents for Lun3r and playing youtube and playing my games I finally came up with a good combo that works quite well and overall speed was improved. Also I changed a lot of things to my liking and now I use it with everything now.

user_pref("general.oscpu.override", "Windows NT 10.0");
user_pref("general.useragent.override", "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 10.0; Win32; x86; rv:128.0) Gecko/20100101 Goanna/4.8 Firefox/128.0 Lun3r/33.3.3a1");

I discovered things get less bogged down on a long session with the following:

user_pref("browser.sessionhistory.max_entries", 3);
user_pref("browser.sessionstore.interval", 30000);
user_pref("browser.sessionstore.max_tabs_undo", 3);
user_pref("browser.sessionstore.privacy_level", 2);
user_pref("browser.sessionstore.resume_from_crash", false);
user_pref("browser.sessionstore.upgradeBackup.maxUpgradeBackups", 0);

Of course to avoid fingerprinting as much as possible:

user_pref("canvas.poisondata", true);

For those sites with endless script and to avoid the popups:

user_pref("dom.max_chrome_script_run_time", 0);
user_pref("dom.max_ext_content_script_run_time", 0);
user_pref("dom.max_script_run_time", 0);

Because my hardware is slow and aged, better to leave it to the software.

user_pref("layers.acceleration.disabled", true);
user_pref("layers.acceleration.enabled", false);
user_pref("layers.max-active", 1);
user_pref("layers.gpu-process.enabled", false);
user_pref("layers.mlgpu.sanity-test-failed", false);
user_pref("media.gpu-process-decoder", false);

About 10 PM and I'm gonna be taking my night meds and prepare to unwind. Just, I don't know, can't shake this feeling that I'm doomed. I just don't see a light at the end of the tunnel, even though today was not too bad ... 'better than yesterday'

See ya :)

Sal
"I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better." -Joan Rivers

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