Eclipse Community

It seems something always got messed in the old XP install I had on the previous computer, but that was over 15 years ago. Microsoft even blocked online activation then for doing it too many times due to number of reinstalls.

I had XP x64 install on current computer until last year for killing time, but I eventually got rid of it when I needed space for Ubuntu 20.04, it offers the most period correct environment for compiling LineageOS 14.1 from source that I run on my smartphone. Though it turned out compiling and signing it didn't exactly accomplish what I hoped it would, but I can say I compiled whole operating system from source code.

Few short months later and it turns out the old smartphone is at the end when it comes to "banking business". The bank where I have the account dropped Android 7 last December, so now it's only a matter of time before I'm locked out from online banking. I've been looking at new smartphones for two weeks now and I'm just running around in circles. There aren't any normal smartphones on the market anymore. Only a bunch of monstrosities with thin, almost non-existent bezels, with camera drilled at the top of screen and using flickering OLED screens. They call always-on-display progress, but I think it's a poor substitute for notification LED. Apparently AOD isn't even consistently implemented and available on phones with OLED screens. The few more normal models with non-flickering IPS screen still lack notification LED, and the only substitute for missing LED is either the entire screen blinking or the camera flash blinking. Seriously?

I'm just tired of everything. Tired of being a prisoner in my own body, tired of having to work, tired of modern tech and IT especially. It's a clown world and things aren't getting better.

What's the point of living when there's nothing to live for?

Yeah, I know, I feel ya. Sadly anything helpful I could say would make me a hypocrite seeing I'm not doing all that well myself. Its hard when there is misery all around us and we feel like we're sinking in the pit. I feel bad because I know I've failed you with my words; but keep writing if that helps you - I'm reading. Hang in there my friend.

So I'm finally getting around to reading all the new posts here since I had last posted here in this thread.

xperceniol_sal wrote: *

22 Nov 2024, 02:44

Thank you @K4sum1 for your detailed listing of games ... this should keep my busy.

► Show Spoiler

So: I've been messing around with user agents for Lun3r and playing youtube and playing my games I finally came up with a good combo that works quite well and overall speed was improved. Also I changed a lot of things to my liking and now I use it with everything now.

user_pref("general.oscpu.override", "Windows NT 10.0");
user_pref("general.useragent.override", "Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 10.0; Win32; x86; rv:128.0) Gecko/20100101 Goanna/4.8 Firefox/128.0 Lun3r/33.3.3a1");

I discovered things get less bogged down on a long session with the following:

user_pref("browser.sessionhistory.max_entries", 3);
user_pref("browser.sessionstore.interval", 30000);
user_pref("browser.sessionstore.max_tabs_undo", 3);
user_pref("browser.sessionstore.privacy_level", 2);
user_pref("browser.sessionstore.resume_from_crash", false);
user_pref("browser.sessionstore.upgradeBackup.maxUpgradeBackups", 0);

Of course to avoid fingerprinting as much as possible:

user_pref("canvas.poisondata", true);

For those sites with endless script and to avoid the popups:

user_pref("dom.max_chrome_script_run_time", 0);
user_pref("dom.max_ext_content_script_run_time", 0);
user_pref("dom.max_script_run_time", 0);

Because my hardware is slow and aged, better to leave it to the software.

user_pref("layers.acceleration.disabled", true);
user_pref("layers.acceleration.enabled", false);
user_pref("layers.max-active", 1);
user_pref("layers.gpu-process.enabled", false);
user_pref("layers.mlgpu.sanity-test-failed", false);
user_pref("media.gpu-process-decoder", false);

About 10 PM and I'm gonna be taking my night meds and prepare to unwind. Just, I don't know, can't shake this feeling that I'm doomed. I just don't see a light at the end of the tunnel, even though today was not too bad ... 'better than yesterday'

See ya

Sal

xperceniol_sal wrote: *

22 Nov 2024, 20:05

Still going through settings and taking note of what improved things on my aged systems.

► Show Spoiler

user_pref("media.wmf.dxva.d3d11.enabled", false);
user_pref("media.wmf.enabled", false);

Better Left at false for me.

I decided to not have Lun3r phoning home to upstream.

user_pref("captivedetect.canonicalURL", "");
user_pref("captivedetect.maxRetryCount", 0);
user_pref("captivedetect.maxWaitingTime", 0);
user_pref("captivedetect.pollingTime", 0);

Cleaning up after shutdown even though I use CCleaner to manually do it for me with custom rules.

user_pref("privacy.clearHistory.cache", true);
user_pref("privacy.clearHistory.cookiesAndStorage", false);
user_pref("privacy.clearHistory.historyFormDataAndDownloads", true);
user_pref("privacy.clearOnShutdown.connectivityData", true);
user_pref("privacy.clearOnShutdown.offlineApps", true);
user_pref("privacy.clearOnShutdown.passwords", true);
user_pref("privacy.clearOnShutdown.siteSettings", true);
user_pref("privacy.clearOnShutdown_v2.cache", true);
user_pref("privacy.clearOnShutdown_v2.cookiesAndStorage", true);
user_pref("privacy.clearOnShutdown_v2.historyFormDataAndDownloads", true);
user_pref("privacy.clearSiteData.cache", true);
user_pref("privacy.clearSiteData.cookiesAndStorage", false);
user_pref("privacy.clearSiteData.historyFormDataAndDownloads", true);

user_pref("privacy.sanitize.migrateFx3Prefs", true);
user_pref("privacy.sanitize.pending", "[]");
user_pref("privacy.sanitize.sanitizeOnShutdown", true);
user_pref("privacy.sanitize.timeSpan", 0);

Other than that, today I have no plans other than to perhaps go out later for coffee when somebody comes by to pick me up at 4. I'm dressed and ready to go and my anxiety is already through the roof today.. I should be around later this evening to post more; I seem to have a lot to say but (again) I'm struggling to make it make sense and that is the thing - lately I just seem to ramble.

Edited to reflect errors I made previously.

These all seem about right, but I'm not sure why you would disable hardware acceleration in this case. Unless your hardware is like Nvidia FX, it should help in CPU bound scenarios.

xperceniol_sal wrote: *

23 Nov 2024, 22:59

So I started taking my fish oil pills and hope to one day recover myself and get off the narcotics. I've been doing a lot of research on fish oil and I discovered it can be very helpful for those of us dealing with Autism. Both the EPA and DHA play their part in brain activity in such (especially the DHA).

I think my dad used to have a bottle of fish oil pills ages ago. Not sure what ever happened to it, nor do I remember ever taking any. Maybe I should try some sometime.

UCyborg wrote: *

26 Nov 2024, 23:14

Thanks, it's not really talked about as much as it should be and there are number of creepy malicious individuals out there with totally fucked up mindsets. Just leave children alone FFS!

It's so depressing never really knowing what it's supposed to feel like down there. I'd never voluntarily sign up for c-word.

I feel the same way, but for a different reason.

xperceniol_sal wrote: *

10 Jan 2025, 00:43

Funny, if for some strange reason I should come into money I wouldn't buy a new computer. I know it seems strange on a computer forum to say that; but I'd rather get new clothes that actually fit that I look good in - I have an image problem. The 90's are calling and want their wardrobe back. Right now so long as my two computers keep running I'll use them until they bitter end. Both hard drives are going bad and I can't do much anymore with em; but they serve my needs right now.

At least from a quick search 90s casual clothing seems to be not very far from today's casual clothing. Although I've never really cared about fashion or anything. I pretty much only wear basic t-shirts with cargo shorts/pants, and if it's cold I throw a jacket or coat on top.

UCyborg wrote: *

10 Jan 2025, 21:09

I've bought a Sound BlasterX AE-5 Plus last month, which is silly in a way, it's probably worth more than the rest of the computer.

Yeah, it's kinda silly. There's not much of a reason to get new audio gear. Audio has been pretty well understood for many decades, and the gear stays good for many decades. A lot of audiophiles love the HD600, and that's a design from 1997, which is a tweaked HD580, and that's a design from 1993. The same applies to the output gear as well. A lot of audiophiles love classic iPods, specifically the 5(.5) from 2005. Outside of the 6/7, they all give around the same output quality including the first iPod from 2001.

Basically, you could've gotten a X-Fi or SB0880 for a lot cheaper, and be able to do more with it. It has a Toslink input for clean recording without any noise, something the AE-5 lacks. That is the reason I got one. Although I've more recently switched to using a USB Toslink adapter to free up my PCIe ports and gave the X-Fi to a more period accurate PC without built in sound. I don't have any need for analog sound from my computer anymore.

UCyborg wrote: *

10 Jan 2025, 21:09

I'm feeling the lack of SSE 4.1 instructions, it's not critical at this point, but it's definitely getting long in the tooth. Heck, official Pale Moon build wants AVX instructions, so have to roll with unofficial build.

In my short tests using PCs unable to use AVX, I've found it's fine. Games are the only case I've found and usually have mods to remove the AVX requirements. Although usually the CPU isn't able to run the game that well anyways.

For browsers compiling for AVX doesn't seem to do anything. In fact with Goanna based browsers, I've found x86 SSE2 performs the best. Although in that case no e10s means running out of RAM very quickly. r3dfox x86 is a bit slower, but there's basically no change going all the way from SSE2 to AVX2.

The only performance loss I've found is compiling Goanna for SSE1 or IA-32, but that seems to be only with software rendering, and that is mostly from Skia optimizations being disabled entirely rather than worked around for SSE1 or IA-32.

UCyborg wrote: *

10 Jan 2025, 21:09

Got a Raspberry Pi 5 as well, which is neat in its own way, the CPU has quite a punch considering the size and power consumption, I got it because I got overexcited about the possibility to fix the old router, which turned out to be physically fried.

Those are cool. I have a Pi 1 B+ and a 3 B+ I think. the Pi 5 is cool, but since I have the 3, I think I want to keep waiting. Either to see what the next Pi is like, or for a cool RISC-V based Pi clone with good performance to come out.

UCyborg wrote: *

09 Feb 2025, 16:06

I had XP x64 install on current computer until last year for killing time, but I eventually got rid of it when I needed space for Ubuntu 20.04, it offers the most period correct environment for compiling LineageOS 14.1 from source that I run on my smartphone. Though it turned out compiling and signing it didn't exactly accomplish what I hoped it would, but I can say I compiled whole operating system from source code.

Would you be able to make or modify device sources by chance?

UCyborg wrote: *

09 Feb 2025, 16:06

Few short months later and it turns out the old smartphone is at the end when it comes to "banking business". The bank where I have the account dropped Android 7 last December, so now it's only a matter of time before I'm locked out from online banking. I've been looking at new smartphones for two weeks now and I'm just running around in circles. There aren't any normal smartphones on the market anymore. Only a bunch of monstrosities with thin, almost non-existent bezels, with camera drilled at the top of screen and using flickering OLED screens. They call always-on-display progress, but I think it's a poor substitute for notification LED. Apparently AOD isn't even consistently implemented and available on phones with OLED screens. The few more normal models with non-flickering IPS screen still lack notification LED, and the only substitute for missing LED is either the entire screen blinking or the camera flash blinking. Seriously?

Modern phones kinda suck. I think the Xperia 5 series should be somewhat decent, although it has some of these issues.

UCyborg wrote: *

09 Feb 2025, 16:06

I'm just tired of everything. Tired of being a prisoner in my own body, tired of having to work, tired of modern tech and IT especially. It's a clown world and things aren't getting better.

What's the point of living when there's nothing to live for?

I often times feel the same way. I like to keep myself too busy to think about it, or I watch stuff to keep my mind off things. There's also still cool stuff coming like local AI, newer CPUs that should still work with pre-10, RISC-V stuff that I might try fooling with sometime, etc. For GPUs I feel this way since value has barely improved, if not gone backwards since the 3000 series, I don't know what my next GPU would be past 3090. Maybe Linux or something gets good enough and I could get a contemporary AMD whenever the time comes, but I don't know when or if that will happen.

K4sum1 wrote: *

19 Feb 2025, 12:08

UCyborg wrote: *

26 Nov 2024, 23:14

Thanks, it's not really talked about as much as it should be and there are number of creepy malicious individuals out there with totally fucked up mindsets. Just leave children alone FFS!

It's so depressing never really knowing what it's supposed to feel like down there. I'd never voluntarily sign up for c-word.

I feel the same way, but for a different reason.

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K4sum1 wrote: *

19 Feb 2025, 12:08

UCyborg wrote: *

10 Jan 2025, 21:09

I've bought a Sound BlasterX AE-5 Plus last month, which is silly in a way, it's probably worth more than the rest of the computer.

Yeah, it's kinda silly. There's not much of a reason to get new audio gear. Audio has been pretty well understood for many decades, and the gear stays good for many decades. A lot of audiophiles love the HD600, and that's a design from 1997, which is a tweaked HD580, and that's a design from 1993. The same applies to the output gear as well. A lot of audiophiles love classic iPods, specifically the 5(.5) from 2005. Outside of the 6/7, they all give around the same output quality including the first iPod from 2001.

Basically, you could've gotten a X-Fi or SB0880 for a lot cheaper, and be able to do more with it. It has a Toslink input for clean recording without any noise, something the AE-5 lacks. That is the reason I got one. Although I've more recently switched to using a USB Toslink adapter to free up my PCIe ports and gave the X-Fi to a more period accurate PC without built in sound. I don't have any need for analog sound from my computer anymore.

Existential crisis seemed like a good reason. I thought about X-Fi multiple times in the past, but I wasn't sure I really want an old card. Then the only reason I could think of was DIrectSound3D and EAX on Windows XP. But honestly, I wasn't sure these cards with accompanying drivers are really "better" than wrapping with DSOAL on more recent OS on any sound hardware.

K4sum1 wrote: *

19 Feb 2025, 12:08

UCyborg wrote: *

10 Jan 2025, 21:09

I'm feeling the lack of SSE 4.1 instructions, it's not critical at this point, but it's definitely getting long in the tooth. Heck, official Pale Moon build wants AVX instructions, so have to roll with unofficial build.

In my short tests using PCs unable to use AVX, I've found it's fine. Games are the only case I've found and usually have mods to remove the AVX requirements. Although usually the CPU isn't able to run the game that well anyways.

For browsers compiling for AVX doesn't seem to do anything. In fact with Goanna based browsers, I've found x86 SSE2 performs the best. Although in that case no e10s means running out of RAM very quickly. r3dfox x86 is a bit slower, but there's basically no change going all the way from SSE2 to AVX2.

The only performance loss I've found is compiling Goanna for SSE1 or IA-32, but that seems to be only with software rendering, and that is mostly from Skia optimizations being disabled entirely rather than worked around for SSE1 or IA-32.

Bunch of folks claim they see the difference with AVX in Pale Moon in day-to-day browsing. I suspect my profile is too cumbered with extensions. Although when it comes to numbers, the work laptop did output some more frames (cca. 4 if I recall) running d3wasm with AVX build. Not practical example with base FPS in sub 20 range.

K4sum1 wrote: *

19 Feb 2025, 12:08

UCyborg wrote: *

09 Feb 2025, 16:06

I had XP x64 install on current computer until last year for killing time, but I eventually got rid of it when I needed space for Ubuntu 20.04, it offers the most period correct environment for compiling LineageOS 14.1 from source that I run on my smartphone. Though it turned out compiling and signing it didn't exactly accomplish what I hoped it would, but I can say I compiled whole operating system from source code.

Would you be able to make or modify device sources by chance?

No way, I hate programming! I just wanted a signed build (only unsigned version was available in binary form for Xperia E3) in hope of passing ctsProfileMatch check (part of the old now deprecated SafetyNet API). Though none of the sensitive apps I use on the smartphone care about it.

K4sum1 wrote: *

19 Feb 2025, 12:08

UCyborg wrote: *

09 Feb 2025, 16:06

Few short months later and it turns out the old smartphone is at the end when it comes to "banking business". The bank where I have the account dropped Android 7 last December, so now it's only a matter of time before I'm locked out from online banking. I've been looking at new smartphones for two weeks now and I'm just running around in circles. There aren't any normal smartphones on the market anymore. Only a bunch of monstrosities with thin, almost non-existent bezels, with camera drilled at the top of screen and using flickering OLED screens. They call always-on-display progress, but I think it's a poor substitute for notification LED. Apparently AOD isn't even consistently implemented and available on phones with OLED screens. The few more normal models with non-flickering IPS screen still lack notification LED, and the only substitute for missing LED is either the entire screen blinking or the camera flash blinking. Seriously?

Modern phones kinda suck. I think the Xperia 5 series should be somewhat decent, although it has some of these issues.

After spinning in circles for 2 weeks, I ended up ordering Unihertz Jelly Max.

K4sum1 wrote: *

19 Feb 2025, 12:08

UCyborg wrote: *

09 Feb 2025, 16:06

I'm just tired of everything. Tired of being a prisoner in my own body, tired of having to work, tired of modern tech and IT especially. It's a clown world and things aren't getting better.

What's the point of living when there's nothing to live for?

I often times feel the same way. I like to keep myself too busy to think about it, or I watch stuff to keep my mind off things.

xperceniol_sal wrote: *

09 Feb 2025, 22:59

Yeah, I know, I feel ya. Sadly anything helpful I could say would make me a hypocrite seeing I'm not doing all that well myself. Its hard when there is misery all around us and we feel like we're sinking in the pit. I feel bad because I know I've failed you with my words; but keep writing if that helps you - I'm reading. Hang in there my friend.

I'm trying, but making it to my 40s the way things are going looks like insanity.

UCyborg wrote: *

22 Feb 2025, 09:52

Bunch of folks claim they see the difference with AVX in Pale Moon in day-to-day browsing. I suspect my profile is too cumbered with extensions. Although when it comes to numbers, the work laptop did output some more frames (cca. 4 if I recall) running d3wasm with AVX build. Not practical example with base FPS in sub 20 range.

Interesting. Although I think I disable WASM for security reasons on my main browser. I don't need it, and I'd rather just run a native app for whatever I need.

Here's my results I gathered when looking into this.
https://board.eclipse.cx/viewtopic.php?t=669

UCyborg wrote: *

22 Feb 2025, 09:52

No way, I hate programming! I just wanted a signed build (only unsigned version was available in binary form for Xperia E3) in hope of passing ctsProfileMatch check (part of the old now deprecated SafetyNet API). Though none of the sensitive apps I use on the smartphone care about it.

UCyborg wrote: *

22 Feb 2025, 09:52

After spinning in circles for 2 weeks, I ended up ordering Unihertz Jelly Max.

Feels like a pretty decent choice. For me it's a bit too thick and heavy, and there's no headphone jack. It's like a worse XZ2C in that regard. I have a XZ1C and a XZ2C and I still use the XZ1C. I'm weak and I get tired of holding the XZ2C, the Jelly Max would only be worse.

I wish I knew someone that could make the ePhone a reality

UCyborg wrote: *

22 Feb 2025, 09:52

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UCyborg wrote: *

22 Feb 2025, 09:52

I'm trying, but making it to my 40s the way things are going looks like insanity.

I feel the same. I don't see myself being alive a decade from now.

Yeah ... I don't know what to say because I'm also struggling tbh. Just take care as best as can be and try to take life day-by-day. That is what I do now. I try not (again I try - easier said than done) to worry about the past or the future that hasn't happened yet; but usually I return to my depressive state. Hate to admit it.

K4sum1 wrote: *

22 Feb 2025, 11:03

Interesting. Although I think I disable WASM for security reasons on my main browser. I don't need it, and I'd rather just run a native app for whatever I need.

Here's my results I gathered when looking into this.
https://board.eclipse.cx/viewtopic.php?t=669

[/quote]I also disable WASM on New Moon, Mypal68, and Lun3r.

I'm sorry you guys are hurting. Sorry to say this, but 52 years was too long for me. The USA now sucks and I am even more isolated than before and I didn't think that was possible. Maybe things will improve - who knows. Society is pretty bad right now.

EDIT:

Ok, I just read each and every word that was posted, so I feel privileged to know you both and thank you for trusting me. Right now, this is it for me as far as tech forums go - I post on the autism forum once and a while and I left nomorepanic.co.uk
Gonna power down for tonight and I will catch up with you because we are all likely in different time zones and would be hard to be online when you both are; but I read eventually. I really care, know that please.

Be well as can be.

Sal

I guess its doesn't help when all hope is lost ... I feel pretty damn hopeless and there really is no light at the end of the tunnel for me. I feel wrecked and destroyed. Sometimes its acceptance that is missing and I've not accepted my limitations and I'm still struggling with things I should have processed in my late teens and 20's but my life had other plans and I guess if I could go back I'd avoid the alcohol and drug use - still there are always those people that land on their feet no matter what; well, that wasn't me and now I''m left holding the bag per usual for me as its always been. I can't remember a time I was "all together" ... maybe small stints here and there but My old therapist said she not about adding diagnosis's because I'm too old, and for me, its about quality of life and things like that should have been handled when younger. I'm lost and all the therapy and pills can't fix this. I failed; simply put!

K4sum1 wrote: *

19 Feb 2025, 12:08

I think my dad used to have a bottle of fish oil pills ages ago. Not sure what ever happened to it, nor do I remember ever taking any. Maybe I should try some sometime.

They didn't work for me, but they are cheap so worth a try I suppose.

UCyborg wrote: *

22 Feb 2025, 09:52

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I'm going through this, too. I pace the room and watch my DVDs now and I get up from the couch from the bed to the bathroom - same thing day-after-day like a broken record. Just in limbo waiting. The flashbacks and nightmares make sleep a poor coping mechanism.

I go through stints of keeping myself too busy with projects like r3dfox to do much else, and more relaxing where I do more things. In downtime I just watch stuff. Still too much I want to do to have much time to just think.

Buying a Unihertz phone was a bit of a lottery. Guess only time will tell how hardware will hold. While I thought headphone jack would be cool to have (it comes with USB-C to 3,5 mm adapter, though), I never really used it. For the longest time, I only had a bunch of old broken in-ear headphones and even when some still worked, cables were easy to break if used lying in the bed for instance.

That and I guess I'm not that much of a music person, so never felt inclined to get some better in-ear headphones. I rarely even feel the need to look for music. Once in a blue moon I'll click on some random suggestion YouTube throws at me. So that small collection I have rarely ever changes. Even listening to it in the car is a relatively new thing to me, took getting a car with Bluetooth inside. The old one had a radio with cassette player and there was a cassette adapter you put in the radio, adapter could be connected to 3,5 mm jack of any such device that has analog audio out. That only came forward in my consciousness when I was already driving it for 5 years and about to replace it due to maintenance burden. Eh, who needs music when you have a loud engine?

Looking at that Xperia Z1 Compact, visually it looks like E3 was a cheap version of it. I wasn't even planning on using it for things that I do today, Z1 would still run everything today, seeing it can be unofficially upgraded to at least Android 11.

Jelly Max is mostly OK so far, though I didn't expect the screen colors to be paler than Xperia E3 and USB functions other than charging stop working for some reason after few use cycles, needs a reboot to restore functionality.

Being familiar with Samsung Galaxy A15 5G at work, I knew what to expect when it comes to the weight as that one is even heavier. Guess it comes with the battery and the SoC being able to handle today's bloat. But compactness of Jelly Max, now that's something else. Bit weird at first, but I managed to get used to the thickness.

Among other things, I also tried Android Auto to see what it is about. Basically, apps made with Android Auto in mind can expose their adapted interface on the car's infotainment screen. I suppose main things are the maps and music playing. With some hackery and root access, it's also possible to project usual phone's screen on the car's screen.

Wireless Android Auto uses both Bluetooth and Wi-Fi, I guess Bluetooth is for saying hi and to tell the phone information about infotainment's Wi-Fi access point, then it mostly goes over Wi-Fi.

That'll be enough writing for today, it's time to go to sleep and tomorrow is another boring day to go through.

I tried and released a slightly improved uBlock Origin for Pale Moon, SeaMonkey etc. last year. I thought I'll make at least another release, but I'm not so sure. I just lose interest in anything I try. Gee, it's been almost a year already.

After all that time on MSFN, all those web browser discussions got really old and mundane. And my 8-16 is working in slow and laggy web apps. So just fed up with (almost) anything browser and web related, though it's not the worst part.

xperceniol_sal wrote: *

27 Feb 2025, 23:04

I'm going through this, too. I pace the room and watch my DVDs now and I get up from the couch from the bed to the bathroom - same thing day-after-day like a broken record. Just in limbo waiting. The flashbacks and nightmares make sleep a poor coping mechanism.

I don't remember the last time I watched anything. Must have been Doctor Who few years back.

I don't know, everything just gets old. I heard the saying it's the home where people die. You get consumed by the mundane cycle and you just don't know there's anything else anymore. And even trying to look outside, it seems you've already seen everything that was there to see.

Yeah, I was reading over at the pale moon forum about your new UBlock Origin. I hope when you can you will continue with your project.

Yeah, everything is slow and laggy on my system and I got used to it Lol...

You don't watch anything now? No movies at all? I hope you can find time for a good movie when your mind is clear. I know the more my mind gets cluttered the more I am unable to focus on anything on the TV and I can no longer watch the news.

I'm always happy to read your postings and I hope it (at least) helps you to get everything out and clear your mind. Yeah, life is very mundane. I guess I look for bright spots because I DO need the repetition and I can barely keep up with the basics. I keep it basic and keep to myself.

I recently got unexpected help on VOGONS for my issue with Windows crashing on transitions to sleep / hibernation. While Win10 install took the hiatus for half-year, the actual contributing factor must have been the old router dying in that time frame. Since then, onboard Ethernet adapter in the computer is not used and it seems its old driver in combination with that particular Windows version (or could be some factor I'm not aware of) has trouble putting the adapter to low power state when nothing is plugged to its RJ-45 port. Somehow the issue didn't manifest on Win11 23H2, but it did on Win10 20H2. For now, I just disabled it in Device Manager.

Those minidumps that can be viewed with BlueScreenView can be misleading, it seems you need WinDbg and analyze the full kernel dump, it's usually written by default to C:\Windows\MEMORY.DMP, at least on newer Windows versions. I never used WinDbg before, that program always looked scary.

xperceniol_sal wrote: *

10 Mar 2025, 22:45

You don't watch anything now? No movies at all? I hope you can find time for a good movie when your mind is clear. I know the more my mind gets cluttered the more I am unable to focus on anything on the TV and I can no longer watch the news.

I'm always happy to read your postings and I hope it (at least) helps you to get everything out and clear your mind. Yeah, life is very mundane. I guess I look for bright spots because I DO need the repetition and I can barely keep up with the basics. I keep it basic and keep to myself.

I'd need a reset, but I'm just spinning in circles, from boring job every day to wasting time on my computer with nothing to show it, except growing disorganization. I rather not watch news for obvious reasons...though I should find something else to watch sometime. I think I'll feel a bit better when I clean up the mess on the computer, but I keep putting it off.

There is one good thing about boring routine that it keeps anxiety from unknown away. But then...

^Yeah; same shit different day after day on repeat.

UCyborg wrote: *

17 Mar 2025, 16:08

...I rather not watch news for obvious reasons...though I should find something else to watch sometime

Yeah, same! I can no longer watch the news since the election, but I try to read online and its a hot mess here in the USA. Sad to say, I think our better days are behind us.

Listening about impending WWIII doesn't help me. :\

Well, another weekend, alone with my thoughts again. Got one annoyance out of the way today, took my car to change tires, so I'm good with that until next winter starts knocking. I'll still have to take it to service workshop later this spring.

Not sure there's a whole lot of difference between between cheaper and more expensive sound gear. A bit clearer sound at most. Nothing shocking. Maybe it takes extraordinary hearing or at least someone who isn't a walking corpse. Not sure there's much difference between music published by artists on their YouTube vs. supposedly HQ digital version either.

Few weeks ago I restored XP x64 partition for a quick test of PhysX in one of the games. I naively tried getting new sound card working on XP. Because Linux detects it as something Recon3D, I tried the only driver I found with Recon3D in the name. Of course it didn't work.

UCyborg wrote: *

29 Mar 2025, 12:52

Well, another weekend, alone with my thoughts again.

Yes, being alone with your own thoughts can be detrimental (it is for me for certain) ... especially the negative self talk, so please be careful with negative self talk. Sure we need to (at least) be honest with ourselves whilst trying to avoid confirming the negative affirmations.

Good to hear you got you car up and ready

Huh, I totally overlooked that Creative still has one sound card in production (Sound Blaster Audigy RX) that supports EAX and all that jazz in games. Ugh, did my mental state deteriorate that badly? Maybe I should've gotten that card instead of Sound BlasterX AE-5 Plus. Though the question again is whether there is really any appreciable difference between "real" EAX and "emulated" EAX. Plus CMSS-3D compared to whatever HRTF exists in alternatives like Creative's own Host OpenAL or with HRTF data sets available for OpenAL Soft. Could all be the same shit to my ears.

The existential crisis is still pretty bad and it's not getting better. And I find living in this body that has been tainted before I could even speak becoming more and more unbearable. I just want to have normal naturally developed body and be comfortable in supposedly my own skin for once. What's the point of living otherwise?

There are no true allies in this world. I find humans to be boring at best and annoying / malicious / evil at worst. "My family". Who are they? Why are we even related? What do we even have in common?

Yeah, there are no allies in this life and 52 years has taught me when the going gets rough count on yourself only. I don't trust people anymore.

Yeah, I manage to get the best out of this factory optiplex 745 and this sound card is very basic function. My pc's would never become good enough for real gaming. I play lame games anyway ... my mind struggles to keep my attention on something long enough. My ears and eyes can't tell the difference between good quality and mediocre quality nowadays. Good you got high end quality and hopefully good ear buds and headphones.

I am not even in speaking terms with my family and they are elderly so its there loss because I will not apologize to a family that wasted no time to stab me in the back when i wasn't looking. Its just me; myself; and I in this world and I prefer it.

I don't allow people to get very close to me anymore - I put up a huge wall now. Just when I think I could trust somebody something always reminds me to keep people at an 'arms length'. This society is far too toxic and I need to isolate and create a 'safe space'. People serve as a distraction I guess. Of course; talking about IRL not the forum ... on the forums I'll talk to anybody and whilst I may seem sociable I'm actually in loner city.

Great, I lost everything I wrote because the session expired. To hell with this primitive phpBB...

UCyborg wrote: *

09 Apr 2025, 20:43

Great, I lost everything I wrote because the session expired. To hell with this primitive phpBB...

That sucks! I've learned to copy what I write to my wordpad. So how are you doing?

xperceniol_sal wrote: *

01 Apr 2025, 23:22

This society is far too toxic and I need to isolate and create a 'safe space'.

With age comes wisdom.
I've learned over the years that it isn't really society that has become toxic.
It is personal self-worth validation-seeking that has blown up way out of proportion.

My dad, RIP, used to always mock my generation for handing out Participation Ribbons.
That everbody that competes somehow "wins".
That there are no "losers".

He would even mockingly say things like, "Congratulations! You learned how to wipe your own a-s-s. Here's your trophy!"

I would just reply, "My generation didn't create society, grandpa's generation created your society, your society created my society, don't blame me."

Anybody with kids or around kids knows, when a child throws a tantrum while passing the toy aisle, giving in to that tantrum only awards bad behavior.

Awarding bad behavior creates a society of bad behavior seeking awards for no other reason than being taught that bad behavior is awarded.
Toxicicty!

Did the parent create the toxicity?
Or did the child?

The way I see the world today, I blame both!
But the pendulum has swung too far and more and more blame *IS* the blame of the child, not the parent.
For not maturing past the temper-tantrum behaviorisms they leared at 2yrs old.

We now live in a world where the child really does think it is "fair and legal" to seek validation for "everything".
But when that child is not awarded a trophy then it is somehow "fair and legal" to burn the stadium down for not being handed a Participation Ribbon.

The-10-Pen wrote: *

10 Apr 2025, 06:14

...That everbody that competes somehow "wins".
That there are no "losers".

Thank you very much for the reply and I appreciate your imput

Take good care.