Then dust yourself off and try again

The-10-Pen · Unread post by **The-10-Pen** » 04 Jul 2025, 09:47

K4sum1 wrote: ↑04 Jul 2025, 00:07 Oh, so that's why I have no irl friends, I don't have the money for it.

LOL

Actually, what I meant, is that there are COMPANIES out there that PAY people to basically be a "friend" to folks that are kind of a 'strain on society'.
Kind of keep that 'strain in check'.
Kind of doing it out of the "kindness of their heart".
et cetera

What one company deems as "special needs" my vary from company to company.

Just trust me on this, none of us like to "judge" others in society, but when you see somebody in public that, let's say, looks like they are 40yrs old but act like they are 6yrs old, the real adult standing next to that person and being "patient and kind" may very likely be PAID to be standing next to that "6yr old".

UCyborg · Unread post by **UCyborg** » 13 Jul 2025, 12:14

I don't see how you can have friends with the way people are, both IRL and online.

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 25 Jul 2025, 22:55

UCyborg wrote: ↑13 Jul 2025, 12:14 I don't see how you can have friends with the way people are, both IRL and online.

I don't either, UCyborg

UCyborg · Unread post by **UCyborg** » 15 Aug 2025, 12:05

K4sum1 wrote: ↑04 Jul 2025, 00:07 Oh, so that's why I have no irl friends, I don't have the money for it.

But you have the money to pay for the hosting of this website.

The-10-Pen · Unread post by **The-10-Pen** » 15 Aug 2025, 12:13

You overestimate the cost to host a website.
In this day and age, you can host for LESS THAN $2 (USD) per month.
With the caveat that you already have an extra computer lying around (which I would say that MOST of us on this forum have at least two).
And are already paying an ISP (which you wouldn't be reading this if you are not).

But sure, let's call it $20 per month or so for "higher quality" web sites.

I have ran a server in the past but it was just for family.
It really didn't "cost" me anything!
But in my case, I had to update the family about every 3wks that the IP Address changed - not that costly to resolve but didn't look into it.

What "creams my corn" is when web site "owners" think they should rake in TENS OF THOUSANDS in "donations" to host a web site that barely breaks a thousand for an entire year !!!

If you don't believe me, I encourage you to see for yourself. Find some random web site seeking "donations" to fund hosting expenses then ask to "see their books". THEY WILL NOT REVEAL THEIR COSTS !!!

Possum98 · Unread post by **Possum98** » 15 Aug 2025, 16:21

while some of this i agree with i 100% do not agree with suicide being the answer to everything! you will never be happy in life by throwing it away! your life is precious and killing yourself over thinking nobody likes you is a terrible reason to not live anymore death is not the fix to the worlds problems and thinking nothing will change is not going to help anything just take it from me i was that way myself at one point and im now on an alot better path then i was 3 years ago please don"t make death a priority!

UCyborg · Unread post by **UCyborg** » 15 Aug 2025, 21:48

@The-10-Pen
True, I know the K4sum1's remark was meant as a joke. Still, I hear modern web isn't exactly friendly to small players, with scrapers/bots etc. And censorship laws being cooked at some places...

I didn't deal with servers much in general, but back then I figured there are services that let you create hostname, so you don't have to deal with IPs.
---
Where do people find time/energy for friends anyway? Besides other issues, I don't feel like dealing with people beyond what my job forces me to. Though I guess consequentially, that way one's only interactions with people are forced, pointless and meaningless.

Speaking of which, I tried a bit of programming at workplace recently. Not really employed as developer there, just wasn't much usual work. I got access to code repo and they accepted the smaller changes, the bigger ones are on hold for now (testing etc.), though looking good.

But honestly, it's not something I want to be doing every day either. I kinda wish I could go somewhere else, but there's nowhere to go, would take a lot of luck for things to not be worse someplace else. It's just getting old...

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 20 Aug 2025, 22:40

UCyborg wrote: ↑15 Aug 2025, 21:48
Where do people find time/energy for friends anyway? Besides other issues, I don't feel like dealing with people beyond what my job forces me to. Though I guess consequentially, that way one's only interactions with people are forced, pointless and meaningless.

Hi, UCyborg; I hope you're doing well. Sorry I know I've been quiet as of late but I've been in a dark place mentally and I decided a break from the forum was needed and I feel a bit better now.

What I'm doing is removing friendship off the table now and trying to give more focus to the acquaintances I run into that are friendly to me and try to appreciate that much. I tend to keep to myself nowadays anyway and enjoy my plants and movies and music. I don't think I could handle friendship now anyway in this condition.

Anyways ... I do hope you are ok and I didn't forget about you.

TTYL

Sal

The-10-Pen · Unread post by **The-10-Pen** » 21 Aug 2025, 00:26

To be honest, I *prefer* solitude!
I have to pretend to be a "team player" at work at times but my job role is actually quite independent of others.
Just do my thing, hit deadlines, trudge along.

I've witnessed so many odd things over the years that I don't really have much "faith" in people - ESPECIALLY WOMEN !!! !!! !!!

Friend of mine once went through a divorce, SHE had a restraining order on him, but SHE would INVITE (via text, court-supplied "exhibit A") him to the house she got in the divorce to fix whatever. And she'd have the neighbor call the cops for him being on the property in violation of restraining order.

'nother friend was FIRED because his EX kept showing up at his place of employment and kept inciting drama in the parking lot.

Yet another friend, also divorced, was also INVITED (text, "exhibit A") and the ex's son was hiding and attacked him. Ex and son planned it!

Still another friend stood up from a table at a crowded restaurant and bumped into a waitress running around and not watching where she was going. Witnessed by several. The two fell to the ground but neither was hurt. HE went to HELP her up and SHE accused him of "touching her boob" in the process of helping her up. NO WITNESSES BACKED UP HER CLAIM. But SHE ran him through HELL AND BACK in courtroom drama for over a YEAR before the case eventually was dropped.

Sure, MEN are quite often TRASH also. BUT SO ARE WOMEN !!!

Anywhoo... Not to be a buzzkill, lol.

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 30 Aug 2025, 23:26

No worries about being a buzzkill, ha

Yeah, I think it best to find solace in the solitude and appreciate the little contact I have with the public. I don't socialize anymore for multiple reasons actually ... one being I'd rather avoid egotistical people and self-centered people out there. I stay in the house a lot. I really wish I could say things will get better but my therapist says it has to get worse before it can get better and I can barely keep up now in this rat race. Society reminds me every day that it best to keep to myself and give little to other strangers. Also I fear people and some times I don't feel safe anymore being alone without my support workers.

I don't know.........

RedBeam · Unread post by **RedBeam** » 31 Aug 2025, 03:13

(For Eclipse Community) hello everyone i won"t be staying long just wanted to get on and say that Ive left the forums its not because anyone did anything wrong or anything but because i"ve moved on to other things in life besides windows preservation and claiming life is pointless im young and still have everything ahead of me i don"t want to spend it complaining about how some person did something else or someone else did wrong to someone the point is im retiring from all forums effective immediately and will be gone from eclipse in the future the world is an amazing place created for all of us we should not be using it for grudges against past actions -RedBeam

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 31 Aug 2025, 19:22

RedBeam wrote: ↑31 Aug 2025, 03:13...im retiring from all forums effective immediately...

So good to hear from you, RedBeam; always is. Yes you are young but mature and thank you for your posting. I just wanted to say I do hope you might continue with your games forums, at least.

Take er easy...

Sal

UCyborg · Unread post by **UCyborg** » 02 Sep 2025, 20:12

xperceniol_sal wrote: ↑30 Aug 2025, 23:26 I don't know.........

This sums it up for me in general...

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 16 Sep 2025, 01:29

UCyborg wrote: ↑02 Sep 2025, 20:12
xperceniol_sal wrote: ↑30 Aug 2025, 23:26 I don't know.........
This sums it up for me in general...

I feel ya ... nothing makes sense anymore. Life is a shit show.

UCyborg · Unread post by **UCyborg** » 17 Sep 2025, 22:02

Feeling like just wasting life away, stuck in a pointless cycle. Life sucks and then you die? That's it?

Unread post by **Duke** » 18 Sep 2025, 19:12

UCyborg wrote: ↑17 Sep 2025, 22:02 Life sucks and then you die?

No, life doesn't suck. I know this feeling, I had it too in the past.
What do you expect ? Things to happen out of the blue ? Miracles to magically touch you ?
Nah, don't wait for things to happen to you but do things. Whatever you want. Just be careful to stay away from any addiction. Yes, it can be hard sometimes but believe me that's the best cure. Move your *ss and you'll see that things will become better and better, easier and easier every day.
Just do it, yes you can! Enjoy life, it's a miracle and it's very short. Don't waste it because of dark thoughts.

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 19 Sep 2025, 00:32

Duke wrote: ↑18 Sep 2025, 19:12...Just be careful to stay away from any addiction...

Yes, yes, yes!!! I'm struggling with addiction now and I'm trying to cut back on the pills; but once you start its very hard to stop and the body revolts on you. I wish I never started. I kicked the booze but I'm still struggling with pills (I quit hard drugs years ago and I don't miss it) .... whatever you do never start Benzodiazepines even if the doctor prescribes it because they are a real bitch to stop.

I wish I wasn't wasting so much time on dark thoughts but its very hard when things are falling apart here in the States. You wouldn't believe it, like a poorly written horror movie I'm in. I agree, though, we must get up and stay up because when we fall its very hard to get back up when we fall hard. I'm not in a good head-space as I type this but I'm working on it. I need to start walking again because I've become sedentary now and that is a bad recipe. Yeah, life is short but its hard to find things to enjoy about this life when (so called) humanity is turning to crap.

I appreciate that you said "Just do it, yes you can!"

I'll try.

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 19 Sep 2025, 19:19

Duke wrote: ↑18 Sep 2025, 19:12...I know this feeling, I had it too in the past....

Hi, Duke! You wrote you also used to feel this way - how did overcome the dark thoughts and depression

Thanks in advance,

Sal

Unread post by **Duke** » 20 Sep 2025, 00:24

I think I explained it in my previous post

UCyborg · Unread post by **UCyborg** » 20 Sep 2025, 11:51

What's addiction anyway? When I was playing computer games, I was considered an addict. Now that I have to spend 40 hours a week on computer to get paid, that's fine? What a load of crap.

I'll write more later as I'm going out for a bit.

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 20 Sep 2025, 23:01

The way I took Dukes' posting was pertaining to substance abuse addiction; but I could be wrong ... he'll have to clarify. Be careful with pills and booze is all I have to say. Can you chase away the dark thoughts; UCyborg? I struggle with that because society is getting even more toxic here in the US. I guess mainly what I'm hoping is for peace and quiet for the rest of my life (about 20 years left give or take - I'm 53)

EDIT: Fixed typo - sorry.

UCyborg · Unread post by **UCyborg** » 20 Sep 2025, 23:44

I know that kind of addiction is a bit different, but still.

Yeah, if things were my way, Israel with the rest of the Middle East would be the first to go. Then the US. And of course where I'm from, Germany and so on. There'd be hardly anyone left, then things would be more peaceful.

UCyborg · Unread post by **UCyborg** » 26 Sep 2025, 20:43

There's just nothing I really care about so there's no inclination to do something because what is there to do? I just do bare minimum to get by because I was born and I'm still alive, at least by clinical terms.

I don't see much beauty in this world. Among other things, it's being taken over by radical right and WWIII is likely brewing up.

The-10-Pen · Unread post by **The-10-Pen** » 26 Sep 2025, 22:45

UCyborg wrote: ↑26 Sep 2025, 20:43 it's being taken over by radical right and WWIII is likely brewing up.

As a centrist, I personally think it's the radical left doing most of the brewing.
Not all of the brewing! But most of the brewing.

Here's one thing that I've been laughing at for the past two weeks.
A free-speech activist is assassinated by gunshot.
And this has been the very FIRST gunshot killing I have seen in TWENTY-SOME years where "gun control" didn't populate *all* news for several days.

Shouldn't that disturb all of us?
Just what message is that sending - that killing somebody that disagrees with you is a perfectly legit utilization of owning a gun?

No reply needed, of course.
Just saying, as a centrist, the current hostile political environment has opened my eyes to a vast array of things that happen on the "left" and on the "right".

UCyborg · Unread post by **UCyborg** » 28 Sep 2025, 12:25

Then there's climate change, no proper winters anymore and invasive bugs from foreign countries.