Then dust yourself off and try again

RedBeam · Unread post by **RedBeam** » 20 Apr 2025, 13:34

hello im just here to send a permanent farewell message to my 3 close friends here as i will be permanently leaving the forums to do better things in my life ive been doing self mental health recovery and have been making progress and have realized the online life of dealing with trolls and trying to be famous in the windows community and being 25 like i am has made me realise i have more to life then just being stuck on an online forum until im old i want to live a better life then i was living

RedBeam · Unread post by **RedBeam** » 20 Apr 2025, 13:39

my account will stay here forever as a Preservation of what i did here to always be available for download

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 20 Apr 2025, 20:54

RedBeam wrote: ↑20 Apr 2025, 13:39 my account will stay here forever as a Preservation of what i did here to always be available for download

Thank you for stopping by. I wish you well.

UCyborg · Unread post by **UCyborg** » 24 Apr 2025, 21:04

OK, let's try again without losing everything like last time. Will be shorter post than would be last time. Heard some news about things happening in school environments and online among young people. So death threats and other violence are the new normal now...shit, I don't remember things being this awful when I still went to school. And them recording fucked shit they do (otherwise it didn't happen), smartphones being used as weapons. The social media, probably starting with TikTok, these are true cesspools. While I do have a smartphone, it's weird when you think about what people actually do on them.

You also didn't hear about influencers years ago. What the heck? Bunch of self-important narcissists IMO. And people actually take them seriously...

xperceniol_sal wrote: ↑01 Apr 2025, 23:22 I don't allow people to get very close to me anymore - I put up a huge wall now. Just when I think I could trust somebody something always reminds me to keep people at an 'arms length'. This society is far too toxic and I need to isolate and create a 'safe space'. People serve as a distraction I guess. Of course; talking about IRL not the forum ... on the forums I'll talk to anybody and whilst I may seem sociable I'm actually in loner city.

I lost few contacts I still had IRL few years ago. Not much better on the forums, guess I wrote some useful technical posts on some of them in the past. Things just got lame after employment, no idea how forming meaningful connection works. My brain considers everyone a threat, it's lonely, but just live with it. It's like I want some meaningful connection and not want it at the same time. It also seems to me the toxicity got worse after COVID-19.

I bought another sound card to play with, a Sound Blaster Audigy Rx.

RedBeam wrote: ↑20 Apr 2025, 13:34 hello im just here to send a permanent farewell message to my 3 close friends here as i will be permanently leaving the forums to do better things in my life ive been doing self mental health recovery and have been making progress and have realized the online life of dealing with trolls and trying to be famous in the windows community and being 25 like i am has made me realise i have more to life then just being stuck on an online forum until im old i want to live a better life then i was living

You don't have to necessarily take black and white approach. Using forums in moderation is an option. And some may be just better to avoid.

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 26 Apr 2025, 00:26

UCyborg wrote: ↑24 Apr 2025, 21:04...My brain considers everyone a threat, it's lonely, but just live with it. ...

Oh I read everything but this jumped out at me and I feel much the same and this is what I deal with too. Right now, taking into consideration the state of affairs here in the states; I feel best to appreciate being a loner, but sometimes it VERY lonely and I hide most of the time.

I'm glad your posting worked this time and I also agree with you about using forums in moderation. Yes, Ucyborg, you have in fact written a lot of helpful postings over the years. I only started to follow you once I joined MSFN in 2018 and I'm glad I'm no longer there.

By all means - redbeam - feel free to stop by and pop in and let us know how your doing. Remember this is the off-topic section and we're open to anything so long as it withing the rules. Who knows, maybe I broke a rule and don't know it.

UCyborg · Unread post by **UCyborg** » 26 Apr 2025, 14:32

xperceniol_sal wrote: ↑26 Apr 2025, 00:26 Oh I read everything but this jumped out at me and I feel much the same and this is what I deal with too. Right now, taking into consideration the state of affairs here in the states; I feel best to appreciate being a loner, but sometimes it VERY lonely and I hide most of the time.

While I wish I was born somewhere else, I'm not sure where would be better. US is a hot mess, but not very long time ago I found the rankings of countries by corruption, where I'm from is even worse than US! To add insult to the injury, it has "love" in its name. Could it get any more faker? That map doesn't inspire optimism in any case.

It hit me in the last decade that there's no such thing as "good old times" either...

xperceniol_sal wrote: ↑26 Apr 2025, 00:26 I'm glad your posting worked this time and I also agree with you about using forums in moderation. Yes, Ucyborg, you have in fact written a lot of helpful postings over the years. I only started to follow you once I joined MSFN in 2018 and I'm glad I'm no longer there.

Thanks, yeah, I don't go there anymore either.

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 26 Apr 2025, 22:39

So, how are you doing; @K4sum1? We have not heard much from you lately. I hope things are going well for you as much as possible anyway nowadays.

UCyborg · Unread post by **UCyborg** » 27 Apr 2025, 14:05

xperceniol_sal wrote: ↑01 Apr 2025, 23:17 My ears and eyes can't tell the difference between good quality and mediocre quality nowadays.

When it comes to sound cards, I can't tell if there's any difference with basic sound output. The only thing I'm sure about is that discrete cards are louder compared to onboard in my case.

There can be difference between reverbation and other effects in games using EAX, comparing how they sound from the card supporting EAX vs alternative software based solutions independent of the sound card.

RedBeam · Unread post by **RedBeam** » 27 Apr 2025, 14:14

as of a week ago (april 20) i had decided the best thing for me was to leave for the better of my but i realise now that i can't permanently leave here as i keep gettimg drawn back the point is (and you can say i told you so) is that im returning to eclipse again but with some exceptions as paer of my mental recovery plan

YouTube · Unread post by **K4sum1** » 27 Apr 2025, 16:01

xperceniol_sal wrote: ↑01 Apr 2025, 23:17 Yeah, I manage to get the best out of this factory optiplex 745 and this sound card is very basic function. My pc's would never become good enough for real gaming. I play lame games anyway ... my mind struggles to keep my attention on something long enough. My ears and eyes can't tell the difference between good quality and mediocre quality nowadays. Good you got high end quality and hopefully good ear buds and headphones.

Play some Morrowind and Oblivion (2006) on it, fun time.

xperceniol_sal wrote: ↑09 Apr 2025, 22:43
UCyborg wrote: ↑09 Apr 2025, 20:43 Great, I lost everything I wrote because the session expired. To hell with this primitive phpBB...
That sucks! I've learned to copy what I write to my wordpad. So how are you doing?

I do the same thing. I'm not sure how I would fix it on the backend.

xperceniol_sal wrote: ↑26 Apr 2025, 22:39 So, how are you doing; @K4sum1? We have not heard much from you lately. I hope things are going well for you as much as possible anyway nowadays.

I'm very busy with projects, so I kinda get a backlog of stuff to reply to here. Although most of it is stuff I either don't or try not to think about too much, so I don't have much to add. I'm not really that social.

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 27 Apr 2025, 17:10

Thank you for the recommendation on those games - will try.

Busy is good - keeps the mind from straying into dark territory. Yeah, I'm not all that social either and don't want to be in this society. Hopefully one of those projects is Lun3r (hehe) no, kidding; I know I'm likely one of few that use it but its getting a bit long in the tooth. No pressure, all in good time and in good spirit - I want you to enjoy putting that together and not a chore.

Me ... I'm just hanging in there, I guess all things considered. Some days are worse that others and I try to take advantage on the (somewhat) good days. Mostly I'm pretty sheltered nowadays and keep to myself because people are backstabbers now out there. I find I'm most happy with my plants.

Anyways, take good care guys and we're here for each other.

EDIT: Sorry about the typos - I think I fixed them.

RedBeam · Unread post by **RedBeam** » 27 Apr 2025, 17:13

K4sum1 wrote: ↑27 Apr 2025, 16:01
xperceniol_sal wrote: ↑01 Apr 2025, 23:17 Yeah, I manage to get the best out of this factory optiplex 745 and this sound card is very basic function. My pc's would never become good enough for real gaming. I play lame games anyway ... my mind struggles to keep my attention on something long enough. My ears and eyes can't tell the difference between good quality and mediocre quality nowadays. Good you got high end quality and hopefully good ear buds and headphones.
Play some Morrowind and Oblivion (2006) on it, fun time.

xperceniol_sal wrote: ↑09 Apr 2025, 22:43
UCyborg wrote: ↑09 Apr 2025, 20:43 Great, I lost everything I wrote because the session expired. To hell with this primitive phpBB...
That sucks! I've learned to copy what I write to my wordpad. So how are you doing?
I do the same thing. I'm not sure how I would fix it on the backend.

xperceniol_sal wrote: ↑26 Apr 2025, 22:39 So, how are you doing; @K4sum1? We have not heard much from you lately. I hope things are going well for you as much as possible anyway nowadays.
I'm very busy with projects, so I kinda get a backlog of stuff to reply to here. Although most of it is stuff I either don't or try not to think about too much, so I don't have much to add. I'm not really that social.

hey! its been awhile since you where on

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 27 Apr 2025, 19:40

RedBeam wrote: ↑27 Apr 2025, 14:14...im returning to eclipse again but with some exceptions as paer of my mental recovery plan...

Yeees!!! I'm glad you are back ... even if you need to take time away now and again. I know; I'm also still in recovery mode but sometimes I wonder if I'm winning the fight. Some days are OK(ish) but I'm FAR from "all together" myself.

Anyway, I do understand but please follow what UCyborg recommended and please please just avoid known toxic forums because sometimes the past is better left buried. You have nice people here. Sure the occasional trolls will present their ugly heads on public forums but that goes along with the territory. When being on a forum becomes a chore rather than a distraction - then ITS 'break time' I do it too. Just take good care of your self and I wish you success with your recovery.

Sal

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 27 Apr 2025, 19:47

RedBeam wrote: ↑27 Apr 2025, 14:14...(and you can say i told you so) ...

Oh I would never (and have never) done that to people and I wouldn't hurt you that way.

YouTube · Unread post by **K4sum1** » 27 Apr 2025, 21:30

xperceniol_sal wrote: ↑27 Apr 2025, 17:10 Busy is good - keeps the mind from straying into dark territory. Yeah, I'm not all that social either and don't want to be in this society. Hopefully one of those projects is Lun3r (hehe) no, kidding; I know I'm likely one of few that use it but its getting a bit long in the tooth. No pressure, all in good time and in good spirit - I want you to enjoy putting that together and not a chore.

Been working on it on and off, currently the theme is broken and I want to do some branding touchups before next release, but otherwise it's nearly ready.

: broken lun3r.png (309.09 KiB) Viewed 11738 times

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 28 Apr 2025, 21:45

@mina354 ... please feel free to jump in anytime (or not if you aren't up to it) ... we'd love to hear more from you. I hope things are going well for you.

UCyborg · Unread post by **UCyborg** » 29 Apr 2025, 19:36

One more day to hang on, then there'll be some peace until next week (holidays). Thought there'd be some relieve this week (customers...), but guess not.

There was this holiday last Sunday here, in English it would be called something like day of resistance against occupier. Overheard news there was drama again, they keep bringing WWII up every year. Me? I don't cause drama, played Call of Duty 2 instead. Well, still playing through single player campaign, recently got high definition texture pack for it weighting over 17 gigabytes. Am I weird?

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 29 Apr 2025, 21:11

UCyborg wrote: ↑29 Apr 2025, 19:36...Am I weird?

I don't think so at all. You're an individual. But I get it, I also feel odd.

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 29 Apr 2025, 21:13

UCyborg wrote: ↑29 Apr 2025, 19:36...Overheard news there was drama again, they keep bringing WWII up every year.

Oh I know and I don't even watch the news but even reading online is dangerous to the psyche.

UCyborg · Unread post by **UCyborg** » 04 May 2025, 22:06

The extended weekend has come to an end...ugh. I'd rather sleep tomorrow morning.

I messed around with Interstate '76 last two days. I wanted to see if I can find some workarounds to fix the game crashing near the end if you go through the story (TRIP mode) in one shot, but nothing. I did find one memory re-allocation code sequence that wasn't done right, but it doesn't to be related.

Before that, I got KeePassXC Browser extension version 1.9.3 working on roytam1's Serpent. Newer versions are more complicated, so didn't bother. Surprised I got 1.9.3 running, considering the state of support for web extensions in Serpent. Filling in one-time passcodes from KeePass works. Still, being mostly on Pale Moon, I got used to click my way to KeePass and copy manually. Only have few sites where I had to setup 2-factor authentication. And neither PassiFox (the extension I normally use with Pale Moon) or the older KeePassXC Browser are able to find login fields on Reddit, the login form is too convoluted.

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 04 May 2025, 22:18

Good to see you again, UCyborg. Yeah sleep, I know.

Sounds like you were having fun with the games.

For some reason, I can't get Serpent or Hydra to work right on Youtube (both), rather, on New Moon and Lun3r things work very well. I've tried everything spoofing the UA but they both complain the browser is outdated. You should try Lun3r when you have free time. I've been meaning to ask you - are you still working on your ublock extension? Just paraphrasing here; but I vaguely recall MC mentioning he would retire ad block latitude in favor of your project - that was nice to hear. Good to be appreciated. I read over there sometimes when I can.

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 06 May 2025, 22:48

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 07 May 2025, 23:31

UCyborg wrote: ↑04 May 2025, 22:06...Before that, I got KeePassXC Browser extension version 1.9.3 working on roytam1's Serpent. Newer versions are more complicated, so didn't bother. Surprised I got 1.9.3 running, considering the state of support for web extensions in Serpent...

You should consider trying hydra; its faster than Serpent

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 09 May 2025, 18:55

The loneliness got to be too much to bare, so I did return to https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/activity.php?s, besides its good to help people that need it and if I can offer even a little support that makes me feel good. BTW I AM Scissel.

Rain, rain, (acid) rain today but dark days don't depress me. Welcome to New England weather. Gotta' love it

https://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/things-knew-joan-rivers/story?id=25165312
https://www.biography.com/actors/joan-rivers

RedBeam · Unread post by **RedBeam** » 10 May 2025, 17:46

im back everyone

sorry if i worried anyone with my potential leaving the forums i had no intention of scaring anyone i just had a change in desicion and decided to stay here my mental health has gotten better and have a beach trip with my entire family planned this week so hyped for that and hope all my friends are doing well-RedBeam

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 10 May 2025, 23:01

Glad you are back! I was worried I won't lie. I'm glad you're improving; sometimes we have to settle for improvement and baby steps count. I'm also not at 100% just yet either but I'm getting there. Enjoy your beach trip

EDIT: Sorry about the typos - one of those days it would seem Lol.........

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 11 May 2025, 21:51

UCyborg wrote: ↑04 May 2025, 22:06...The extended weekend has come to an end...ugh. I'd rather sleep tomorrow morning.

We miss you, UCyborg! I feel like I scared 2 nice people away with my DM ... I was just trying to say hello and be friendly but maybe I went too far over the top Lol

Please come back when you feel like chatting in the thread. You too; sunryze, you're more than welcome to join us here. I always thought you were a kind soul.

Anyways...

Got some sun today but it was also very sad because my Mom passed away from Alzheimer's/dementia. I'm OK - really! She is now in peace and was suffering and she didn't recognize me any-longer. I just feel strange (understandable) but overall very (suspiciously) stable mentally.

Take good care - Eclipse community and I hope everybody is doing well here and out there to those reading.

Salvatore

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 13 May 2025, 21:30

RedBeam wrote: ↑10 May 2025, 17:46...and have a beach trip with my entire family planned this week so hyped for that and hope all my friends are doing well-RedBeam

So how was the beach trip? Please share any details you feel comfortable sharing; I'd love to know. Its been AGES since I've been to the beach ... I'm quite self conscious about showing my body now because I'm funny looking (hehe). I also hope our friends are doing well but I've only heard from you and k4 .... so I don't know either about how our friends are. I feel like I made a mistake sending the DM and chased they away

RedBeam · Unread post by **RedBeam** » 14 May 2025, 00:43

xperceniol_sal wrote: ↑13 May 2025, 21:30
RedBeam wrote: ↑10 May 2025, 17:46...and have a beach trip with my entire family planned this week so hyped for that and hope all my friends are doing well-RedBeam
So how was the beach trip? Please share any details you feel comfortable sharing; I'd love to know. Its been AGES since I've been to the beach ... I'm quite self conscious about showing my body now because I'm funny looking (hehe). I also hope our friends are doing well but I've only heard from you and k4 .... so I don't know either about how our friends are. I feel like I made a mistake sending the DM and chased they away

well today was day 3 so 3 days to go still but its been fun!

xperceniol_sal · Unread post by **xperceniol_sal** » 14 May 2025, 01:30

^Oh ... OK! Awesome

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